Stalling

Yes, I'm stalling. I don't want to finish this book nor write it's review. Some writer, right?

I think I need to talk something out first. Like this:

I have friends who walk around saying one thing and doing another, and I think that'd be fine, except that it has been affecting me personally lately, and maybe that'd be fine, too, because I could probably get over it, but when it affects the people I love, like Jake, it's just not okay anymore, because then I'm left feeling like I'm the one who harmed him, and I never want to be that person (though I know that I am sometimes..but if I'm going to harm him, let me do it myself--don't do it for me. I do a mighty fine job on my own, thanks.)

Anyway, this is vague and weird, I realize, but it's been bugging, and I'm hoping it can serve as some kind of warning to those who've been doing this..hopefully they'll know who they are.

I might seem like I enjoy being walked on, but did you ever think that maybe it's not that I like it, but that I don't feel it?? Maybe I just don't let myself feel the pain of being trampled--maybe I've felt it for so long that it doesn't feel much like pain to me anymore, but when you walk on someone I love, you're cutting right into the heart of me, and I don't just let that happen, ok?

Fine, I'll admit it, you don't have to be careful with me, but that doesn't make me weak, it makes me calloused...but mess with those I love...and you'll see how truly strong I can be.

(end rant..)