Realization

Very soon, I will no longer have to work weekends or nights and I'll have a real, solid schedule. I won't have to deal with the kind of people that make me feel bad about how I act around them (they're so ridiculous they bring out the ridiculous in me).

That's not the point of this post, though. Just felt like sharing it.

The real point (if there is one) is that last night both Buddy and I got really drunk and fought about absolutely nothing, but that's not really the point either. The point is what I woke up thinking some interesting things this morning.

We fought and I cried and he didn't care and was being cruel and wouldn't be cool and then I fell asleep (somehow) and he woke me up a little later and wanted to have sex. That simple. Then we went back to sleep and it was as if everything was fine this morning, as if we didn't almost break up or I didn't tell him to leave or anything. I thought about it... Maybe I consider everything fine with my relationship as long as the guy I'm with will have sex with me. Maybe because I know that he must be REALLY disgusted and TRULY not like me in that moment if he would turn down sex, because guys don't care about anything but. Isn't that nuts?

Every day I wake up or put myself to sleep with weird realizations about myself that tell me my psychology (at least about men) is more broken than I could have imagined.